kryptonite.

“But they cried out with a loud voice, and covered their ears and rushed at him with one impulse.” Acts 7:57

“I know you are but what am I!” This phrase dominated elementary school arguments After it was used, the insulter was silenced. However, there was one, unfailing action that could be used as a counterattack. The other kid could stick his fingers in his ears and start blabbering and yelling, “I can't hear you! I can't hear you!” It was like kyrptonite to the name-calling superpowers.

We are trained from a very young age to block out what we don't want to hear. Whether its insults on the playground, your parents' instructions to clean your room, or an older sibling tormenting you, the easy solution was to cover your ears or simply pretend you didn't hear them speaking.

Stephen's accusers did the same. They didn't want to hear what God was trying to speak through him. They covered their ears and rushed at him, with the intent of putting him to death.

We, as Christians, read that verse and think Oh that's horrible. I would never do that when, in fact, we do it all the time. When we are corrected, we get defensive. When God tells us to do something, we convince ourselves that it wasn't really Him. When our heavenly Father disciplines us through the authority that He has set up, we reject it. We become embittered with the Stephens God sends to us because we don't like what they have to say.

Like the name-callers on the playground, no one likes to speak to someone who has covered their ears. If they refuse to listen, there's really no point in speaking at all.

When I don't hear from God for a while, my first thought is, “Why aren't you speaking, Lord?!” I have found that the answer is usually that I have not been listening. He wants to speak to us, but our ears are often covered by headphones or gossip and the babbling of the world has drowned out His still, small voice. We drive those that He is trying to speak through out of our presence and lock the door behind them.

I want to hear my Jesus speak to me. Therefore, I need to open my ears and reject any distraction that keeps them from hearing. I also need to be more open to whom God is trying to speak through in my life. I'm going to drop my stones and stop rushing at His messengers. Speak Lord, for your servant is listening.

Proverbs 23:12

“Apply your heart to discipline, and your ears to words of knowledge.”

illuminated.

“and he said, 'Behold, I see the heavens opened up and the Son of Man standing at the right hand of God.'” Acts 7:56

“LORD, show me Your glory!” This was Moses' prayer in Exodus 33. He wanted to experience God in all of His glorious might. When his prayer was answered and he came down from the mountaintop, he did not know that “the skin of his face shone because of his speaking with God”, and the people were afraid (Exodus 34:29-30).

Stephen also saw the glory of God and, like the Sons of Israel, his audience was fearful. In fact, they were so afraid that they proceeded to stone him.

However, there is one commonality between these two men that is far greater. After they saw the glory of God, both Moses and Stephen were spurred to action. They could not help but tell of all that the Lord had shown them. Moses told the Israelites what God had commanded, and Stephen couldn't help but tell his accusers about what he had seen. Both of these servants of the Most High acted in great courage, proclaiming the acts of God in the midst of great opposition.

We serve the same God, and He has not changed. Our Father doesn't show Himself or speak to His children simply for their own sake. Instead, He works in His power and glory that His bride may tell others of what He has done.

When God speaks to me, I need to ask Him what He would have me do, and how He would use me to impact those around me. I want my life to shine as it illuminated by the glory of God, so that those around me will turn and seek His face. I will walk in His light and tell of all He has done, until the whole world hears.

Matthew 5:16

“Let your light shine before men that they may see your good works and glorify your Father who is in heaven.”

July 28, 2011

gazing.

“But being full of the Holy Spirit, he gazed intently into heaven and saw the glory of God, and Jesus standing at the right hand of God;” Acts 7:55

For practically everyone in America, hide-and-go-seek was a fundamental element of their childhood. And for most, hiding was the favored part. No one really wanted to be “it” every time, left alone to search out those who were hidden. Especially when the game was played at night and in the dark.

When I was little, I personally hated being the seeker. I was no good at it, and I would walk around aimlessly hoping someone would give up and reveal their hiding place. I had given up intentional searching, because I simply looked in the wrong places. Every single time.

When Stephen was about to be stoned in the presence of his enraged accusers, he looked to God. He “gazed intently” into the place where he knew that his Lord could be found. There, Stephen saw Him in all His glory.

Isn't it relieving that God doesn't dodge us, hiding in the most concealed and tricky places? He says that if we search for Him with all of our hearts, then we will find Him (Jeremiah 29:13). He is simply waiting for us to seek Him, and then He draws near to us, arms open wide.

Unlike hide-and-go-seek, we aren't left to wander aimlessly. However, our Lord does command us to search. He wants our hearts to be completely devoted to seeking Him.

Sometimes, I will fail to “gaze intently” as Stephen did, but I will simply give heaven a passing glance out of obligation. But God doesn't want my charity. He wants my unchallenged, devoted love. He deserves it.

I want my heart to be completely given to Him. That can only happen when I take up my cross daily and put to death anything that my heart longs for, other than the One who made me and makes Himself known to me when I search for Him with all of my heart.

Isaiah 55:6

“Seek the LORD while He may be found; Call upon Him while He is near.”

July 26, 2011

daddy.

“Now when they heard this, they were cut to the heart, and they began gnashing their teeth at him.” Acts 7:54

The mere mention of one's father stirs a variety of emotions. For some of us, it brings back mostly happy memories of learning to play baseball with your dad, or being twirled around in a sparkling dress and tiara because you were daddy's little princess. For others, the word is surrounded by recollections of hurt, abandonment, and a myriad of other painful memories. Our hearts ache at the mention of fathers.

I believe that the hearts of those who stoned Stephen were hurting as well. In Acts 7, he made his defense before the high priest and the surrounding crowd. In verse 51, Stephen told them that they were doing just had their fathers had done before them. Immediately following, Luke recodes that they were “cut to the heart” (vs. 54).

Now I don't think that they were enraged solely because of the mention of their fathers, but I do believe that some emotions were stirred as a result. I say this because in the past, that was the case in my own life. When I would hear someone say, “You're just gonna end up like your parents!” or “You remind me of your dad!” or “You're just like him!” My heart would ache. My fathers are just as “uncircumcised in heart and ears” as those of Stephen's accusers.

So what makes me different now? Why am I not “cut to the heart” any longer? Some say that its because I have a “strong personality” and the courage to overcome the failures of my fathers. However, it is quite the opposite. The knife of their words cannot reopen the scars they once left; not because my flesh is strong, but because my heart is weak. For in my weakness, my God is made strong. He has become my Father. I have given my once-scarred heart to Him and He has made it whole again. Now, when I hear, “you're just like your dad!” I rejoice, knowing that I truly am becoming more like Him. He is transforming me into His image.

As Christians, we are His children, and He is our loving Father. We cry out “Daddy” and rejoice, while He is taking the scars of our hearts and turning them into shining stars.

Romans 8:15-16

“For you have not received a spirit of slavery leading to fear again, but you have received a spirit of adoption by which we cry out, 'Abba! Father!' The Spirit Himself testifies with our spirit that we are children of God.”

what i love.

This is one of the things that I miss the very most about San Diego! I'm praying for my bus kids!
[click on the link below]

Bus Ministry

sincere joy.

“Day by day, continuing with one mind in the temple, and breaking bread from house to house, they were taking their meals together with gladness and sincerity of heart.” Acts 2:46

Everything is about appearances. At least, that's how it seems. Millions and millions of dollars are spent each year on ways to make yourself look better. We put on a smile and try to look presentable, hoping to impress the world around us. Unfortunately, much of this attitude has seeped into the Church. Sunday mornings become fashion shows and clothing competitions, while false smiles hide weary hearts. Christians put on a seemingly beautiful shell, in an effort to appear as if they have it all together.

However, this is far from what God intended. Christ desires a pure and authentic bride, clothed in humility and adorned with righteousness. Yet she is becoming a false representation, masking her heart in the makeup of worldliness and pride, seeking to please other suitors.

Jesus came and died for sinners. SINNERS. Prostitutes, tax collectors, murderers, thieves, liars, and the like. That's us. That's the Church. We're simply imperfect people who have been washed white by the blood of Christ.

With that in mind, why do we carry around a false happiness, praying that no one really gets to know us?

The early Church met together in “sincerity of heart”. And they were glad about it! There is deep joy to be found in real, authentic fellowship, in which brothers and sisters can admit sin, accept accountability, and share their unmasked hearts.

I want this joy. I am starting to discover it more intimately here at Potter's Field. I want an increase of it, joy in full, gladness in abundance. Therefore, I will no longer avoid complete sincerity. I am casting off this “beautiful shell” that Christ despises and leaving it at the foot of the cross. For I am confident that where sincerity of heart resides, gladness is sure to follow.

Galatians 1:10

“For am I now seeking the favor of men, or of God? Or am I striving to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a bond-servant of Christ.”

toys.

“and they began selling their property and possessions and were sharing them with all, as anyone might have need.” Acts 2:45

If we had the opportunity to spend one more day back in preschool, many of us would. Brightly colored wallpaper, nap time, endless toys, no worries, innocent and unbiased friendships, a teacher to watch over us all as we played together. Fond memories usually accompany those days, as well as recollections of lessons learned. Some differ depending on the child, yet there are some that were universal for all of us. Use your inside voice, be nice, don't eat glue, and share your toys.

Life was so simple then. Within the rainbow colored walls and playgrounds, it was a lot easier to get along with one another. If there was an argument, it was quickly resolved, usually under the guidance of a kind, sweet preschool teacher.

Many of us can also recall what the majority of these little conflicts centered around. No one wanted to share their toys. Once it was in your hand, it was yours... and yours alone.

Reflecting on this now, it is clear that some things never change. Our money is ours, our cars are ours, as well as our homes or any other item with any value at all. We live in houses with extra bedrooms, while someone else is sleeping on the sidewalk at the end of our street. We have cupboards overflowing with food, while our neighbor is struggling to make ends meet. We go on vacations while others are starving to death and spiritually dying. Now, none of those these things in of themselves are bad. Not at all. However, how often do we offer them up to the Lord, and ask what He would want us to do with them?

I know that I don't do it enough. There are people in need all around me, and my first thought isn't always to ask God what He would have me do to help. It;s not that I don't want to serve them, I am sometimes just too focused on my own wants to think about their needs.

However, none of my possessions are even my own. I believe the early Church also understood that. Everything we we have belongs to God, just as every toy we selfishly claimed in preschool ultimately belonged to the teacher or the place she worked for. When I am reminded of this, I am humbled to a point in which I cannot help but look to satisfy the needs of others with what I have been given.

Overall, the world would be far better of if we, as the Church, would learn to share our toys.

Matthew 25:45

“Then [Jesus] will answer them, 'Truly I say to you, to the extent that you did not do it to one of the least of these, you did not do it to Me.'”

July 21, 2011

together.

“And all those who had believed were together and had all things in common;” Acts 2:44

Together. That's how God intended it to be from the very beginning. When He took dust from the ground and made the first man, both Adam and Himself were aware that something was missing. God breathed His very own breath into him, but there was still a longing in the heart of man for something more. God created us with a deep void that can only be filled by others. We were made for community. Our Father Himself said that, “it is not good for man to be alone” (Genesis 2:18).

However, the togetherness that God envisioned for His Church often seems unattainable. Divorce rates among Christians are higher than ever, denominational divisions cause constant conflicts, and gossip, slander, and lies reach our ears on a daily basis.

How is it that these 3,000 believers could have a oneness that seems so impossible among us today? I believe a large part of the answer is found in the remainder of the verse: “...and [they] had all things in common”. ALL things. Nothing was held back. Selfishness did not reign among these new believers.

Imagine if that was the case today! Is not selfishness and pride the source of almost all disunity in the modern Church? I know that's the case in my own life.

However, when I give and serve others in humility, I see the hand of God move most powerfully. I need to constantly humble myself and let go of my own selfish strivings, so that I can love others as Jesus would.

When this attitude is present in my own heart, I am drawn closer to the unity that Christ envisioned and the early Church understood.

Philippians 2:3

“Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves.”

July 20, 2011

awestruck.

“Everyone kept feeling a sense of awe; and many signs and wonders were taking place through the apostles.” Acts 2:43

The first spark of salvation ignites a fresh fire and passion for the LORD. The 3,000 newly saved souls in Acts 2 were aflame with the love of their God, and “everyone kept feeling a sense of awe”. In addition, “many signs and wonders were taking place through the apostles.” As I read this verse, the word “through” practically leaped off of the page. Nothing the apostles did was by their own strength or might. They were simply conduits of the Holy Spirit's power, and God was constantly doing amazing things among them.

If our God is the same yesterday, today and forever, why is it that our fire and sense of awe fades over time? In my life, it seems as if I'm often not as excited, passionate, or zealous for the things of God as I was when I first was saved.

Recently, I have found that it is simply because I do not always give God the glory He deserves. The early Church understood that the work of the apostles were not done by human strength, but God's. I, however, will sometimes forget to acknowledge that very fact. When someone is infulenced by something I said or did, I need to give God the glory. When I accomplish something worthwhile, I have to know it was God working. When I am able to look outside at the beautiful Montana landscape from the windows of Potter's Field Ranch, I need to remember that it was God alone who created it all and called me here.

Nothing godly, righteous, or good that I have ever done or will ever do is of myself. And when I remember that, I cannot help but be returned to a childlike sense of awe.

Psalm 68:35

“O God, you are awesome from your sanctuary. The God of Israel Himself gives strength and power to the people. Blessed be God!”

July 19, 2011

devoted?

“They were continually devoting themselves to the apostles' teaching and to fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer.” Acts 2:42

After Peter's sermon in Acts 2, 3,000 people gave their lives to the Lord Jesus. Immediately following, the Bible says that they were continually devoting themselves to teaching, communion, fellowship, and prayer. God overwhelmingly blessed and multiplied the early Church, and I am certain that it was due to those very things.

Christians today, however, seem to have a hard time with the words, “continually devoting.” We don't like to persist or persevere unless it's easy or convenient, and we're really good at giving up.

Think about it: How much time do we really spend in the Word, devoting ourselves to the teachings of the apostles? How often do people change churches to fit their own personal preferences? How many times have we gossiped, created divisions, or avoided fellowship because of a conflict with another member of the body of Christ? And are we continually devoted to remembering what Jesus did for us on the cross, or crying out in prayer to the God who loved us enough to send Him there? Without continual devotion to these things, we cannot accomplish very much.

Personally, I could be way more devoted to continual prayer. I often find myself placing priority on other things, and failing to pray for my brothers and sisters. I cannot expect to have strong fellowship if I'm not praying for others in the Body, nor a strong relationship with God unless I'm in constant communication with Him. Here at Potter's Field, I have to deliberately set aside time to be alone with God in all of the busy-ness of the Ranch. However, when I do, I never regret it.

There is extreme power in prayer, and our Father will act in that power. The question is, are we desperate enough to devote ourselves to these things, so that the hand of God will move among us?

2 Chronicles 16:9

“For the eyes of the LORD move to and fro throughout the earth that He may strongly support those whose heart is completely His...”

July 18, 2011

Ignite.

Alright everyone, I have an announcement to make.
When I applied for Potter's Field Missions Training School, Ignite wasn't an option. It is a program that the other 10 interns up here at Potter's Field are doing. Instead of three months in Montana and three months on the mission field, this program consists of three months in Montana, six months on the mission field, followed by an additional month in Montana and two months serving at your home church.
This is something that I really feel the Lord has called me to do. Consequently, He has graciously opened every door for me to do it.
Therefore, I will be back in San Diego in May of 2012, as opposed to January.
I'm excited for what God is already doing, as well as what He will continue to do in and through me in Ignite.
Please pray for His continual provision and favor, and simply that His will be done in my life.
to God alone be the glory forever and ever.

this is what i live for.

"Pure and undefiled religion in the sight of our God and Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself unstained by the world."  James 1:27