nuns.

“and put on the new self, which in the likeness of God has been created in righteousness and holiness of the truth.” Ephesians 4:24

A nun doesn't wake up in the morning and say to themselves, “Hmm... I wonder what I should wear today.” They don't even give their clothing a second thought. What they put on is not only a habit, but it is part of who they are. The world recognizes their identity as a nun by what they wear.

Similarly, our identity should be in what we put on. It should be our habit to walk in the likeness of God, in righteousness and holiness of the truth. Our flesh is dead, our old self has been crucified, so that it is no longer we who live, but Christ who lives in us. The world will recognize us as His disciples when we put on this new self.

Last night at chapel, there was a song we sang in worship that says,

“You are perfect, you are holy.

You are faithful, You are true.

I long to live in Your glory.

O Lord, make me more like You.”

Putting on the new self is just that: recognizing that God is perfect, holy, faithful, and true, and, therefore, seeking to be more like Him.

So, what does this look like for me right now, at Potter's Field Ranch? A verse that stood out to me in my devotions this morning was Proverbs 31:25. It says, “Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she smiles at the future.” I need to have a right standing of who I am, which is both a treasured child of God and an unworthy servant of the Most High. As a result, I can be clothed in His strength (knowing that it is only perfected because I am completely weak) and dignity (knowing that I have been adopted and chosen as His child, treasured far above rubies).

In my old self, these truths are not recognized and the result is increasing pride. However, when I put on the new self with this right understanding of who I am in Christ, it results in an ever-growing servant's heart that is modeled after His. As I do this today, I will seek to imitate my Jesus and look for more ways to serve as He did. Whether this is taking greater joy in cleaning in the kitchen, going out of my way to help someone else with their responsibilities, or putting aside my own wants for another’s needs, I will ask the Lord to make me more like Him and ignite in me a deeper servant's heart. Overall, I want my identity to found in the new self that I put on: which is Christ Himself.

1 Peter 5:5

“...and all of you, clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, for GOD IS OPPOSED THE PROUD, BUT GIVES GRACE TO THE HUMBLE.”

center stage.

“and that you be renewed in the spirit of your mind,” Ephesians 4:23

“Watch your thoughts, for they become words.
Watch your words, for they become actions.
Watch your actions, for they become habits.
Watch your habits, for they become character.
Watch your character, for it becomes your destiny.”

Our words, actions, and habits form our character and destiny, and it all truly does trace back to our thoughts. What we allow to play in the theater of our minds will dictate the state of our hearts and the outcome of our lives. Romans 12:2 says, “And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect.” If I want to abhor what is evil and cling to what is good, then I still need to take up my cross and put to death my own interests, so that my mind may be set on God's. I want to completely reject the sinful ways of the world and be transformed to walk in His will. Therefore, I need to be renewed in the spirit of my mind.

More often than not, it isn't the obvious sinful thoughts that creep into my mind. It is usually like tares among wheat: thoughts that don't seem harmful, but are taking root and slowly choking out the good and righteous things that I should be dwelling on. I need to recognize these weeds before they take root and grow to affect my actions, habits, and character.

Currently, I am realizing what some of these tares are. I'll find myself thinking about what it would be like if I was still back home. I left San Diego just as a revival was about to burst out in and through Foothills. Bus Ministry and Such As I Have Ministries were fruitful, and I found deep joy in both of them. God was using me tremendously in my friendships, and in my family. I'll catch my thoughts wandering towards these things, wondering if it would have been better for me to stay home.

On the outside, these thoughts do not seem bad or evil. However, discontentment can be found in their roots. I need to trust in the Lord, knowing that He has me here at Potter's Field Ranch, and soon El Salvador, for a reason. I need to be content where I am, knowing that there is no better place that I can be than in His will. Just as God took Philip from a flourishing ministry in Samaria to travel on a desert road, He has taken me here to be His hands and feet. I will rejoice in this, knowing that there will always be chariots for me to overtake, so that I may proclaim Christ where I am (Acts 8:25-40).

Paul wrote to the Corinthians and said, “We are destroying speculations and every lofty thing raised up against the knowledge of God, and we are taking every thought captive to the obedience of Christ,” (1 Corinthians 10:5). The easiest way to do this is to stop the thought. As soon as it begins to enter the stage of my mind, I need to cut the casting call and not even give it an audition. I can't entertain it for even one second, nor let it entertain me. Instead, it needs to be replaced with something good, righteous, and true. I have found that the best replacement is Scripture. Whenever I begin to think about something that is not of God, I can recite a verse in my mind and dwell on it. Obviously, to do this I need to memorize the Word of God. Therefore, I will apply greater discipline in memorizing Scripture, so that I may use the the Sword of the Spirit to slice open the tares and destroy the roots of deceitful thoughts. Then, I will become more and more renewed in the spirit of my mind.

Philippians 4:8

“Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things.”

honey.

“that, in reference to your former manner of life, you lay aside the old self, which is being corrupted in accordance with the lusts of deceit,” Ephesians 4:22

As I was reading this verse, a song by Relient K came on shuffle on my iTunes. The chorus says,

“I'm sorry for the person I became.
I'm sorry that it took so long for me to change.
I'm ready to be sure I never become that way again
'cause who I am hates who I've been.
Who I am hates who I've been.”

The middle line of it stands out to me in accordance with the verse. “...lay aside the old self...” When I accepted Jesus, I became a new creation; the old has passed away, and the new had come (2 Corinthians 5:17). However, I need to say “I'm ready to be sure I never become that way again.” Even though I consider my old self dead in Christ, I need to constantly be on guard that I am not deceived into sin. I need to fully hate and abhor my old self and its practices, and clothe myself in righteousness and holiness of the truth.

Psalm 119:11 says, “I have hidden Your Word in my heart that I might not sin against You.” I need to continually hide the Word in my heart, so that I may stay away from sin and not return again to my old self. Therefore, I will take greater diligence in memorizing scripture and deeper discipline in studying it. His words are life to me.

Psalm 119:103-106

“How sweet are Your words to my taste! Yes, sweeter than honey to my mouth! From Your precepts I get understanding; Therefore I hate every false way. Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path. I have sworn and I will confirm it, that I will keep your righteous ordinances.”

August 29, 2011

apology.

“contributing to the needs of the saints, practicing hospitality,” Romans 12:13

A few years ago, when God was deeply changing my heart and breaking it even more for what breaks His, I started to become very critical of the Church around me. I judged those with nice homes and cars, churches with extravagant buildings or comfortable chairs. I began to develop a very critical spirit.

Now, I realize how terribly wrong I was.

We need to live to the standard of which we have obtained. This is different for every person. For example, JC Penny lived on only 10% of what he earned, and gave away all of the rest. Now, the 10% he lived on was millions of dollars... but that was the standard to which he had obtained. We need to look at percentages, not dollars. Just because someone lives very well does not mean that they are selfish or not good stewards of what God has given them.

Similarly, the simple fact that someone has nice things or a church has a beautiful building doesn't mean that they aren't also serving the Lord with their finances. Yes, this is sometimes the case, but with most of the people in my life it is not. The very people and churches that I was critical of and judged on occasion are the ones that are supporting me tremendously, both in their finances and prayers.

If anyone is reading this blog and has sensed this critical spirit from me in the past, I owe you an apology. I am truly sorry, and I hope that you can forgive me.

Words cannot express how deeply grateful I am for the support I have received, not only in coming here to Potter's Field, but also throughout my entire life. I am a living testimony of this verse in action.

Now that I'm here, what does this verse look like in my life? While at the Ranch, I can't really provide for anyone financially or welcome them into my home. However, I still can “contribute to the needs of the saints.” I need to have eyes like Christ, to see those around me who are in need. I want to notice when someone around me is upset and needs encouragement. I want to help my roommates with their laundry or cleaning or just day to day responsibilities. I will continue to ask God to provide me with opportunity to fill a need, and the wisdom to know how to do it.

Also, I will continue to ask to the Lord to help me stay in humility and keep me from returning to a critical spirit. I already know that once I come back to the United States after six months in El Salvador, it will be a great struggle for me to not to become critical again. I need to rely fully on the Lord and remind myself that He alone searches and knows the heart, and I simply need to put my trust in Him. For “...man looks on the outside, but God looks on the heart.” (1 Samuel 16:7).

Psalm 139:23-24

“Search me, O God, and know my heart; Try me and know my anxious thoughts; And see if there be any hurtful way in me, And lead me in the everlasting way.”

servanthood.

“Be devoted to one another in brotherly love; give preference to one another in honor.”

Romans 12:10

Yesterday in class, we were discussing the humanity of Christ. How He did not regard equality with God a thing to be grasped, but humbled Himself and became a man. The God that created the universe subjected Himself to His creation. He came as a baby, taking on the most helpless form. The hands that made the stars were pierced and scarred by sinful man. The Lord of lords emptied Himself, took on humanity, and put Himself in their hands. God humbled Himself to the point of death on a cross.

I knew this and had heard it all before. However, in that moment I was so overwhelmed by the love that He has for me. During the short break, I went and sat outside on the deck, and I just began to cry. The God of the entire universe became a man so that He could have a relationship with me? The King of kings became the servant of all so that I might have life? What an amazing scandal of grace! I do not have words enough to express.

This verse, Romans 12:10, brought me back to that today. I again began to think about the precious price that was paid for my life-- and everyone else's. Jesus died so that anyone who would believe in Him and confess Him as Lord could have eternal life. I want everyone to know this amazing, wonderful, and great love that surpasses all words and understanding. How, then, do I make it known?

During the last supper, Jesus said to His disciples, “You call me teacher and Lord; and you are right, for so I am. If I then, the Lord and the Teacher, washed your feet, you also ought to wash one another's feet. For I gave you an example that you also should do as I did to you.” (John 13:12-16). I need to humble myself, and serve those around me. I need to be devoted to them in brotherly love, and give preference to them in honor. Then, and only then, will they know that I am His disciple.

I need to remember what Christ did for me on the cross. Once I forget this truth, I have nothing. But, because of what He has done, I am compelled to love those around me as He did-- so that they may know Him as I do

Lord, never let me forget how you humbled yourself to the point of death, even death on a cross. Let that power shine through my life, and let it show as I give preference to those around me in honor. Help me to love others as you have loved me. Thank you for your amazing love. I can never thank you enough.

Philippians 2:3-8

“Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves; do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others. Have this attitude in yourselves which was also in Christ Jesus, who, although He existed in the form of God, did not regard equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied Himself, taking the form of a bond-servant, and being made in the likeness of men. Being found in the appearance as a man, He humbled Himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross.”

August 23, 2011

good.

“Let love be without hypocrisy. Abhor what is evil, cling to what is good.” Romans 12:9

This verse immediately turned my thoughts towards Jesus. He was the ultimate of example of what sincere love was. He loved from the depths of His heart, not just on the surface. He abhorred what is evil. In fact, he hated it so much that He clung to the very thing that would defeat its power: the cross.

Jesus took upon Himself the full weight of the evil He despised with His entire being, and literally clung to what He knew was good. But to the world around Him, the cross seemed to be the farthest thing from it. Wrongly accused and tried? Beaten and mocked? A painful crucifixion? Hanging accursed on a tree? How could this all be good?

God's concept of what is good is radically different from ours. Jesus endured the cross for the joy set before Him. He knew that death would have no victory and sin would forever lose it's sting. He looked forward to the evil that He so greatly despised being defeated for all eternity. Because the cross was the ultimate good for all humanity, Christ clung to it, even when no one else understood.

I want to be like my Jesus and embrace what I know is good, even when no one understands me. Right now in my life, the good that I need to cling to is where God has placed me. I am at Potter's Field Ranch, and I will soon be serving Him in El Salvador. The world doesn't understand why I am doing this, and apart from Christ they never will. However, there is “only one thing that is necessary”, and that is being at His feet. I will take heart, knowing that I “have chosen what is good, and it shall not be taken away from [me].” (Luke 10:42). Therefore, when I am wrongly accused for His sake, I will rejoice. When I am mocked, I will take courage in the One who was condemned in my place. His love was sincere and without hypocrisy; He hated evil, yet bore it all and died in my place to destroy it. I need to have this same love for those around me, especially those who do not understand. I will not simply love them in words, but in deed and in truth. For in this, I will be imitating the ultimate being of pure love and holiness. I will embrace my cross as I leave the world behind, live out the faith Christ desires, and cling to the only One who is truly good.

Ephesians 5:1-2

“Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children; and walk in love, just as Christ also loved you and gave Himself up for us, and offering and a sacrifice to God as a fragrant aroma.”

August 22, 2011

unashamed.

“For whoever is ashamed of Me and My words in this adulterous and sinful generation, the Son of Man will also be ashamed of him when He comes in the glory of His father with the holy angels.” Mark 8:38

I was sitting with my friend Paige last night, and she said something that really hit me. She was talking about being here at Potter's Field, and said, “I don't understand why anyone would miss out on something like this. If you have the opportunity to save a life, even if it's your own, I don't know how you could pass that up.”

That statement made me think about this verse. “For whoever is ashamed of Me and My words in this adulterous and sinful generation...” How could anyone be ashamed of the gospel of Christ, when it is life and truth and salvation? How could someone pass up an opportunity to save a life, even if it's their own?

The apostle Paul had the same thought. Romans 1:16 says, “For I am not ashamed of the gospel, for it is the power of God for salvation to everyone who believes...” Why be ashamed of something that saves lives? Sin and rejection of the truth may gain acceptance in the world, but when the Son of Man comes in all His glory, it will only end in a greater shame.

I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy. I want every person to know Jesus and be found in His loving grace when He returns. Therefore, I need not be ashamed of the gospel of Christ, for it is the only saving power. For what can mere man do to me?

A lot of His words seem foolish to those who do not know Him. When I told everyone I was going to move to a little ranch just outside of Olney, Montana to be trained to live in another country, a lot of people were confused. They said I was foolish, wasting my education and time. Even now as I'm announcing that I'm going to live in El Salvador for six months, some are asking “Why?” or telling me that I am foolish to go. There are always going to be those who do not understand what God has called me to or the words that He is speaking into my life. However, I will never be ashamed, for His words are life to me.

I need to continue to pray for greater boldness when I speak, knowing that His words are salvation, love, and life. Speaking quietly or sugarcoating the truth is a form of shame and, when I do so, I show no confidence in the message of my Jesus. Therefore, even when people criticize, mock, or consider me foolish, I will continue to speak boldly and take joy that, in persecution, I am able to partake in a small portion of the sufferings of Christ. For I know that, in Him, I truly have nothing to be ashamed of.

“And now, Lord, take note of their threats, and grant that your bond-servants may speak Your word with all confidence.” (Acts 4:29)

1 Corinthians 1:18

“For the word of the cross if foolishness to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God.”