the last day.

“Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life, and I shall dwell in the house of the LORD forever.” Psalm 23:6

Praise be to God for His promises! This is the complete opposite of what I deserve, for I am sinful and selfish in my flesh. However, my God has deemed me worthy because I have been washed white by the blood of Christ. Again, what an amazing scandal of grace!

As I seek His beautiful face, goodness and mercy truly will follow me all the days of my life. Whether this is today in Montana, the next six months in El Salvador, back home, or wherever else He may call me, the Lord is always with me. He is goodness and mercy; my portion and all I need forever.

However, this promise does not end here on earth! After these days of my life are over, I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever. As today is my last day here at Potter's Field Ranch, this promise is my greatest comfort. The interns that started the program with me in July are being sent out all over the world, to Uganda, Costa Rica, and El Salvador. I will be leaving the staff, who have had such a huge impact on my life these past three months. Also, as I depart to El Salvador, there are some interns who are still here that entered the program later than my class did. God has given me such a deep love for them already, and they are my brothers and sisters in Christ. It truly pains me to think that I may never see them again here on earth. This is why this verse is so dear to my heart today. The promise is that I will dwell in the house of my God forever, with everyone that I have met here and grown to love so much. Even if I do not see them again while we are alive, I will spend eternity with them in heaven.

Overall, I need to remember this verse wherever my Jesus may lead me. Goodness and mercy will follow me all the days of my life, and all His disciples that I have met and will meet will spend eternity with me in the house of our God. Oh what a great comfort this is!

As I leave the Ranch tonight and get on a plane tomorrow to leave Montana, I will be in constant prayer for my brothers and sisters, and praise God for His amazing promises. He is faithful.

Colossians 3:1-4

“Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God. When Christ, who is your life, appears, then you also will appear with him in glory.”

protection and provision.

“You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies; you anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows.” Psalm 23:5

“The LORD is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? The LORD is the stronghold of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?” (Psalm 27:1). If my God can prepare a table for me in the presence of my enemies, He surely is my mighty protector and the shield of my entire life. His perfect love casts out all fear. I have no reason to be afraid as I go to El Salvador, or anywhere else that His strong hand may lead me.

Not only is the table set in the midst of chaos, but my cup truly does overflow. My heavenly Father is constantly blessing me far more than I deserve, and I have no reason to doubt His future provision. I need to continue to trust Him to supply every need while I'm in El Salvador, and for the rest of my life. I do not know how He will do it, but I am confident that my God will provide. He is faithful.

Hebrews 13:5-6

“...He Himself has said, 'I will never leave you nor forsake you.'

So we can confidently say, 'The LORD is my helper;

I will not fear. What can man do to me?'”

Psalm 84:11

“For the LORD God is a sun and a shield; the LORD gives grace and glory.

No good thing will he withhold from those who walk uprightly.”

victory.

“Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.” Psalm 23:4

In this season of my life, I've been on the mountaintop- literally. I've been at Potter's Field Ranch in Montana, surrounded by the beauty of my God. I'm so close to Him, filled with joy at the mere mention of His name. He is revealing more of Himself to me daily and has been constantly speaking to my heart.

I only have a few days left here at the Ranch, and this season is coming to a close. I am descending from the mountaintop and entering into a valley of darkness, so that the fire that is burning inside of me may light up the world.

When I walk through this valley, I need to remember that I am not walking through death, but through it's shadow. A shadow always makes something look a lot darker, scarier, and bigger than it actually is. In reality, “Death is swallowed up in victory. O death, where is your victory? O death, where is your sting?” (1 Corinthians 15:55) It has no power over me! If my God is for me, can anything stand against me? No, in all these things, we are more than conquerors through him who loved us! (Romans 8:31, 37)

However, I know that it will still be difficult. I have an active enemy who sees me as a threat, so he will do all he can to try to steal, kill, and destroy my life. What then, will be my comfort in these times? Your rod and your staff, they comfort me. A shepherd's rod and staff are tools of discipline and correction. So why would David write that they are his comfort? “For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.” (Hebrews 12:11)

Here at the Ranch, my heavenly Father has corrected and disciplined me. In the moment it was painful and sorrowful, but joy came in the morning, and it has simply served to further shape my character into an image that reflects his own heart. In this reproof of His rod and staff, my wandering heart is greatly comforted.

Don't doubt in the darkness what God has shown you in the light.

As I walk beneath shadows, I will remember the comfort of my Potter's hands, as he has been correcting and disciplining me to make me more like Him. I will continually look to my Savior and take heart, for He has overcome the world. Thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ! (1 Corinthians 15:57)

Psalm 18:28-30

“For it is you who light my lamp; the LORD my God lightens my darkness. For by you I can run against a troop, and by my God I can leap over a wall. This God – his way is perfect; the word of the LORD proves true; he is a shield for all those who take refuge in him.”

eighteen.

“He restores my soul. He leads me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake.” Psalm 23:3

When I think about how God has orchestrated my past and has planned my future, I am awestruck and overwhelmed by amazement. He has divinely appointed my life, and knew me before the foundations of the world.

“Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, and before you were born I set you apart.” How true is this! God knew my name before I was even a thought in my parents' minds. 18 years ago today I was born, and He had bigger plans for me than anyone could have ever imagined. He loved me more than I could ever know, before I could even know His name.

God then took a dirty, poor, broken little six year old girl and called her to Himself. I fell in love with Jesus. All of the statistics in the world said that I would end up as an addict, teenage mother, and felon because of where I have come from. But my Jesus looked into my eyes and said, “Little child, you are from God and have overcome them, for he who is in you is greater than he who is in the world.” (1 John 4:4).

“I appointed you as a prophet to the nations.” I praise God for all of the ways that He has used me and worked through me these past 18 years, and I am in wonder and anticipation for how He is going to use me in the future. I am going to El Salvador for the next six months, because God has created me to be salt and light and has called me to the nations. I do not know what He will continue to make of me, for I am only clay in my Potter's hands, but I am confident that it will be far greater than my deepest dreams and desires.

Overall, my God has led me in paths of righteousness. They are narrow and rough, for they pass through fire and require sifting as wheat. However, they bear the fruit of greatest joy. I am led, tested, and tried for His name's sake and glory. I also know that future hardships will come. Yet when it seems overwhelming and too much to handle, I need to remember His great faithfulness and how He has been with me throughout my entire life.

“Do not say, 'I am only a youth'; for to all to whom I send you, you shall go, and whatever I command you, you shall speak. Do not be afraid of them, for I am with you to deliver you,' declares the LORD.” Yes Lord. I am young, but I will be obedient. I will not fear, for you are with me to deliver me.

Where You go, I'll go. When You stay, I'll stay. With this life I lose, I will follow You.

Romans 10:15

“And how are they to preach unless they are sent?

As it is written, 'How beautiful are the feet of those who preach the good news!'”

[Jeremiah 1:5-8]

September 27, 2011

rest.

“The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want. He makes me lie down in green pastures. He leads me beside still waters.” Psalm 23:1-2

Over and over again in the Bible, God commands His people to be still.

When He rained manna from heaven for the Israelites in the desert, God told them to only gather the day's portion and not to gather on the seventh day. However, they were disobedient and did it anyways. God promised that they would be completely provided for, but they simply did not trust Him.

David wrote, “He makes me lie down in green pastures. He leads me beside still waters.” God makes us rest. Wouldn't we want to do that on our own? This seems strange, but it is because our Father knows that this is a hard thing for us to do. Just as the Isrealites didn't trust God enough to rest, we like to do things on our own. It's tough for us, as humans, to refrain from work for even one day. This is why He commands us to rest. Oh, what a good shepherd we have!

In Scripture, this command almost always comes with a promise. “If you lie down, you will not be afraid; when you lie down, your sleep will be sweet.” (Proverbs 3:24). “Cease striving, and know that I am God.” (Psalm 46:10). “Rest in the LORD and wait patiently for Him...” (Psalm 37:7) “Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.” (Matthew 11:28). “It is in vain that you rise up early and retire late, eating the bread of anxious toil; for He gives to His beloved even in his sleep.” (Psalm 127:2)

The only way we can lie down in peace and be led beside waters of rest, is when we take these promises (as well as the countless others in Scripture) to heart and trust in our God. I believe this is why David began this psalm with the words, “The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want.” Our anxious strivings and best works are filthy rags compared to what our Savior can do when we abide in Him.

Where God guides, He provides. In this season of my life, I especially need to trust the Lord to provide. He has called me to El Salvador, and I'm going within the next few weeks. However, it is truly a leap of faith, in which I have to trust Him to supply every need as I obediently go. He has promised to, and my Jesus is faithful, so I simply need to rest in Him. Jehovah-Jireh, my provider. He is the strength of my heart and all I need forever.

Philippians 4:19

“And my God will supply all your needs, according to his riches and glory in Christ Jesus.”

Psalm 37:3-5

“Trust in the LORD, and do good; dwell in the land and feed on His faithfulness. Delight yourself in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the LORD; trust also in Him, and He will do it.

umbrellas.

“For as the rain and the snow come down from heaven and do not return there but water the earth, making it bring forth and sprout, giving seed to the sower and bread to the eater, so shall my my word be that goes out from my mouth; it shall not return to me empty but it shall accomplish that which I purpose, and shall succeed in the thing I sent it for.” Isaiah 55:10-11

Often when we preach the word, we want to see immediate change. We want people to alter their ways, renounce sin, take up a ministry, step out in faith, or just respond to the message.

This is also true when we speak the truth in love. We too often expect the person to change right away as we approach them about something, when this is not always the case.

It is by God's might that souls are saved, not by our own power. It is also the Holy Spirit's role to convict, and not ours. Jesus came to earth and was crucified for us; we can never do more than that. It is His kindness that leads hearts to repentance.

It is God who forms clouds and causes the rain to come down on both the righteous and the ungodly. We cannot make it rain, no matter how hard we try. Our role is to simply lead others to lay down their umbrellas. If they continue to seek cover from its downpour, we then continue to pray and seek the Lord to draw them back out into the glowing streets.

God's promise is that His word will not return void. However, we need to lay down our own expectations of what it should accomplish. It is His purposes that it is sent out for, and that is what will be accomplished.

As we dance in the rain, we should be calling out from the streets and taking others by the hand, inviting them to join in the sweet fellowship of our Savior. One day, every knee will bow and every tongue will confess that our Jesus is Lord. Until then, we need to continue to fan the flame of faith in our hearts, so that umbrellas will be burned up in its fire to allow the rain to refresh weary souls.

As I go to El Salvador, I need to keep this in mind. It is not my own might or determination that will save souls, but the kindness of my Savior. I cannot take the job of the Holy Spirit and convict hearts. I need to daily surrender and admit that I am weak, so that His strength may be perfected in me. His word will not return void.

2 Peter 3:9

“The Lord is not slow to fulfill his promise as some count slowness, but is patient toward you, not wishing that any should perish, but that all should come to repentance.”

higher.

“For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so my ways are higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.” Isaiah 55:9

This verse reminds me of my good friend Austen Payan, and a conversation we had in January. I was telling him of a car accident that I was in on Christmas, and what God did through it. Someone ran into me while I was at a stoplight, and basically destroyed the back of my car. I remember thinking, “Really God? My car was just fixed, and I don't need another problem with it.” When I filed the insurance claim, they had to give me about $2,000. As I was taking the money to go and get my car fixed, someone in the church told me that they wanted to bless me and fix my car for free! As a result, that money went straight into my account for Potter's Field. As I was telling Austen all of this, I sarcastically said, “It's like God was saying, 'Jaymi you're dumb! Just watch what I'm going to do with this!'” We then found this verse, which birthed the phrase “You're dumb/Just watch. Isaiah 55:8-9”.

His ways are higher than mine. I had been praying for God to provide for me to come here to Potter's Field, and He answered in a way that was beyond my understanding and radically different from the way I expected. In comparison to His thoughts, I truly know nothing.

God will work in ways that are beyond our expectations, imaginations, and strength, so that we will know that it is truly Him who does it, and not ourselves. As a result, I want to stay close to His heart and abide in Him, so that I may serve my Jesus and bear fruit. I can do nothing on my own. I will continue to take delight in His ways and trust Him when it doesn't make sense. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are His ways higher than my ways and His thoughts than my thoughts.

[[You're dumb/Just watch. Isaiah 55:8-9]]

John 15:5

“I am the vine; you are the branches. He who abides in me and I in him will bear much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing.”