change.

“'For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are my ways your ways,' declares the LORD.”

Isaiah 55:8

Last night at chapel, it was commissioning for all of the teams that are soon departing to the mission field. Each of the interns was asked to answer a question during the service. When it was my turn, I was asked “What was your main reason for coming to Potter's Field Ranch? Do you still believe that this is why the Lord had you come?”

My answer reminded me of this verse. I came here, honestly, just wanting to get on the field. I have a passion for foreign missions, and I really just wanted to go. I was looking forward to the classes and preparation, but really I was just waiting for the first three months to be over so that I could fly to El Salvador and share the love of Christ with the kids and the church there.

I now realize that God brought me here to Montana to draw me to Himself. I am closer to Him, and more broken for His people. I have a deeper servant's heart and a more gentle spirit, as well as so many other things as a result of coming here. God has used these three months to prepare me for a future life of ministry and missions, and fan the flame of passion that was already burning in my heart.

After chapel last night, Pastor Mike Rozell came to me and said, “Jaymi, you got everything out of this that you were supposed to. You didn't miss it. You came wanting to change the world, but God wanted to change your heart.”

His thoughts truly are not my thoughts, neither are His ways my ways. I still want God to use me to leave an impact on the world for His glory, but He has done much more than deepen that desire in me. My heart has been further broken, molded, and changed in the Potter's hands. I am merely clay, who has no understanding of what He is doing, nor of what He will make of me. In the center of the Potter's wheel, in the center of His will, is where I want to be. I will continue to seek my Jesus with my whole heart, and trust Him with my future.

Forever my love, forever my heart, forever my life is Yours, Lord.

Proverbs 19:21

“Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the LORD that will stand.”

September 21, 2011