the last day.

“Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life, and I shall dwell in the house of the LORD forever.” Psalm 23:6

Praise be to God for His promises! This is the complete opposite of what I deserve, for I am sinful and selfish in my flesh. However, my God has deemed me worthy because I have been washed white by the blood of Christ. Again, what an amazing scandal of grace!

As I seek His beautiful face, goodness and mercy truly will follow me all the days of my life. Whether this is today in Montana, the next six months in El Salvador, back home, or wherever else He may call me, the Lord is always with me. He is goodness and mercy; my portion and all I need forever.

However, this promise does not end here on earth! After these days of my life are over, I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever. As today is my last day here at Potter's Field Ranch, this promise is my greatest comfort. The interns that started the program with me in July are being sent out all over the world, to Uganda, Costa Rica, and El Salvador. I will be leaving the staff, who have had such a huge impact on my life these past three months. Also, as I depart to El Salvador, there are some interns who are still here that entered the program later than my class did. God has given me such a deep love for them already, and they are my brothers and sisters in Christ. It truly pains me to think that I may never see them again here on earth. This is why this verse is so dear to my heart today. The promise is that I will dwell in the house of my God forever, with everyone that I have met here and grown to love so much. Even if I do not see them again while we are alive, I will spend eternity with them in heaven.

Overall, I need to remember this verse wherever my Jesus may lead me. Goodness and mercy will follow me all the days of my life, and all His disciples that I have met and will meet will spend eternity with me in the house of our God. Oh what a great comfort this is!

As I leave the Ranch tonight and get on a plane tomorrow to leave Montana, I will be in constant prayer for my brothers and sisters, and praise God for His amazing promises. He is faithful.

Colossians 3:1-4

“Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God. When Christ, who is your life, appears, then you also will appear with him in glory.”

protection and provision.

“You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies; you anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows.” Psalm 23:5

“The LORD is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? The LORD is the stronghold of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?” (Psalm 27:1). If my God can prepare a table for me in the presence of my enemies, He surely is my mighty protector and the shield of my entire life. His perfect love casts out all fear. I have no reason to be afraid as I go to El Salvador, or anywhere else that His strong hand may lead me.

Not only is the table set in the midst of chaos, but my cup truly does overflow. My heavenly Father is constantly blessing me far more than I deserve, and I have no reason to doubt His future provision. I need to continue to trust Him to supply every need while I'm in El Salvador, and for the rest of my life. I do not know how He will do it, but I am confident that my God will provide. He is faithful.

Hebrews 13:5-6

“...He Himself has said, 'I will never leave you nor forsake you.'

So we can confidently say, 'The LORD is my helper;

I will not fear. What can man do to me?'”

Psalm 84:11

“For the LORD God is a sun and a shield; the LORD gives grace and glory.

No good thing will he withhold from those who walk uprightly.”

victory.

“Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.” Psalm 23:4

In this season of my life, I've been on the mountaintop- literally. I've been at Potter's Field Ranch in Montana, surrounded by the beauty of my God. I'm so close to Him, filled with joy at the mere mention of His name. He is revealing more of Himself to me daily and has been constantly speaking to my heart.

I only have a few days left here at the Ranch, and this season is coming to a close. I am descending from the mountaintop and entering into a valley of darkness, so that the fire that is burning inside of me may light up the world.

When I walk through this valley, I need to remember that I am not walking through death, but through it's shadow. A shadow always makes something look a lot darker, scarier, and bigger than it actually is. In reality, “Death is swallowed up in victory. O death, where is your victory? O death, where is your sting?” (1 Corinthians 15:55) It has no power over me! If my God is for me, can anything stand against me? No, in all these things, we are more than conquerors through him who loved us! (Romans 8:31, 37)

However, I know that it will still be difficult. I have an active enemy who sees me as a threat, so he will do all he can to try to steal, kill, and destroy my life. What then, will be my comfort in these times? Your rod and your staff, they comfort me. A shepherd's rod and staff are tools of discipline and correction. So why would David write that they are his comfort? “For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.” (Hebrews 12:11)

Here at the Ranch, my heavenly Father has corrected and disciplined me. In the moment it was painful and sorrowful, but joy came in the morning, and it has simply served to further shape my character into an image that reflects his own heart. In this reproof of His rod and staff, my wandering heart is greatly comforted.

Don't doubt in the darkness what God has shown you in the light.

As I walk beneath shadows, I will remember the comfort of my Potter's hands, as he has been correcting and disciplining me to make me more like Him. I will continually look to my Savior and take heart, for He has overcome the world. Thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ! (1 Corinthians 15:57)

Psalm 18:28-30

“For it is you who light my lamp; the LORD my God lightens my darkness. For by you I can run against a troop, and by my God I can leap over a wall. This God – his way is perfect; the word of the LORD proves true; he is a shield for all those who take refuge in him.”

eighteen.

“He restores my soul. He leads me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake.” Psalm 23:3

When I think about how God has orchestrated my past and has planned my future, I am awestruck and overwhelmed by amazement. He has divinely appointed my life, and knew me before the foundations of the world.

“Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, and before you were born I set you apart.” How true is this! God knew my name before I was even a thought in my parents' minds. 18 years ago today I was born, and He had bigger plans for me than anyone could have ever imagined. He loved me more than I could ever know, before I could even know His name.

God then took a dirty, poor, broken little six year old girl and called her to Himself. I fell in love with Jesus. All of the statistics in the world said that I would end up as an addict, teenage mother, and felon because of where I have come from. But my Jesus looked into my eyes and said, “Little child, you are from God and have overcome them, for he who is in you is greater than he who is in the world.” (1 John 4:4).

“I appointed you as a prophet to the nations.” I praise God for all of the ways that He has used me and worked through me these past 18 years, and I am in wonder and anticipation for how He is going to use me in the future. I am going to El Salvador for the next six months, because God has created me to be salt and light and has called me to the nations. I do not know what He will continue to make of me, for I am only clay in my Potter's hands, but I am confident that it will be far greater than my deepest dreams and desires.

Overall, my God has led me in paths of righteousness. They are narrow and rough, for they pass through fire and require sifting as wheat. However, they bear the fruit of greatest joy. I am led, tested, and tried for His name's sake and glory. I also know that future hardships will come. Yet when it seems overwhelming and too much to handle, I need to remember His great faithfulness and how He has been with me throughout my entire life.

“Do not say, 'I am only a youth'; for to all to whom I send you, you shall go, and whatever I command you, you shall speak. Do not be afraid of them, for I am with you to deliver you,' declares the LORD.” Yes Lord. I am young, but I will be obedient. I will not fear, for you are with me to deliver me.

Where You go, I'll go. When You stay, I'll stay. With this life I lose, I will follow You.

Romans 10:15

“And how are they to preach unless they are sent?

As it is written, 'How beautiful are the feet of those who preach the good news!'”

[Jeremiah 1:5-8]

September 27, 2011

rest.

“The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want. He makes me lie down in green pastures. He leads me beside still waters.” Psalm 23:1-2

Over and over again in the Bible, God commands His people to be still.

When He rained manna from heaven for the Israelites in the desert, God told them to only gather the day's portion and not to gather on the seventh day. However, they were disobedient and did it anyways. God promised that they would be completely provided for, but they simply did not trust Him.

David wrote, “He makes me lie down in green pastures. He leads me beside still waters.” God makes us rest. Wouldn't we want to do that on our own? This seems strange, but it is because our Father knows that this is a hard thing for us to do. Just as the Isrealites didn't trust God enough to rest, we like to do things on our own. It's tough for us, as humans, to refrain from work for even one day. This is why He commands us to rest. Oh, what a good shepherd we have!

In Scripture, this command almost always comes with a promise. “If you lie down, you will not be afraid; when you lie down, your sleep will be sweet.” (Proverbs 3:24). “Cease striving, and know that I am God.” (Psalm 46:10). “Rest in the LORD and wait patiently for Him...” (Psalm 37:7) “Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.” (Matthew 11:28). “It is in vain that you rise up early and retire late, eating the bread of anxious toil; for He gives to His beloved even in his sleep.” (Psalm 127:2)

The only way we can lie down in peace and be led beside waters of rest, is when we take these promises (as well as the countless others in Scripture) to heart and trust in our God. I believe this is why David began this psalm with the words, “The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want.” Our anxious strivings and best works are filthy rags compared to what our Savior can do when we abide in Him.

Where God guides, He provides. In this season of my life, I especially need to trust the Lord to provide. He has called me to El Salvador, and I'm going within the next few weeks. However, it is truly a leap of faith, in which I have to trust Him to supply every need as I obediently go. He has promised to, and my Jesus is faithful, so I simply need to rest in Him. Jehovah-Jireh, my provider. He is the strength of my heart and all I need forever.

Philippians 4:19

“And my God will supply all your needs, according to his riches and glory in Christ Jesus.”

Psalm 37:3-5

“Trust in the LORD, and do good; dwell in the land and feed on His faithfulness. Delight yourself in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the LORD; trust also in Him, and He will do it.

umbrellas.

“For as the rain and the snow come down from heaven and do not return there but water the earth, making it bring forth and sprout, giving seed to the sower and bread to the eater, so shall my my word be that goes out from my mouth; it shall not return to me empty but it shall accomplish that which I purpose, and shall succeed in the thing I sent it for.” Isaiah 55:10-11

Often when we preach the word, we want to see immediate change. We want people to alter their ways, renounce sin, take up a ministry, step out in faith, or just respond to the message.

This is also true when we speak the truth in love. We too often expect the person to change right away as we approach them about something, when this is not always the case.

It is by God's might that souls are saved, not by our own power. It is also the Holy Spirit's role to convict, and not ours. Jesus came to earth and was crucified for us; we can never do more than that. It is His kindness that leads hearts to repentance.

It is God who forms clouds and causes the rain to come down on both the righteous and the ungodly. We cannot make it rain, no matter how hard we try. Our role is to simply lead others to lay down their umbrellas. If they continue to seek cover from its downpour, we then continue to pray and seek the Lord to draw them back out into the glowing streets.

God's promise is that His word will not return void. However, we need to lay down our own expectations of what it should accomplish. It is His purposes that it is sent out for, and that is what will be accomplished.

As we dance in the rain, we should be calling out from the streets and taking others by the hand, inviting them to join in the sweet fellowship of our Savior. One day, every knee will bow and every tongue will confess that our Jesus is Lord. Until then, we need to continue to fan the flame of faith in our hearts, so that umbrellas will be burned up in its fire to allow the rain to refresh weary souls.

As I go to El Salvador, I need to keep this in mind. It is not my own might or determination that will save souls, but the kindness of my Savior. I cannot take the job of the Holy Spirit and convict hearts. I need to daily surrender and admit that I am weak, so that His strength may be perfected in me. His word will not return void.

2 Peter 3:9

“The Lord is not slow to fulfill his promise as some count slowness, but is patient toward you, not wishing that any should perish, but that all should come to repentance.”

higher.

“For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so my ways are higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.” Isaiah 55:9

This verse reminds me of my good friend Austen Payan, and a conversation we had in January. I was telling him of a car accident that I was in on Christmas, and what God did through it. Someone ran into me while I was at a stoplight, and basically destroyed the back of my car. I remember thinking, “Really God? My car was just fixed, and I don't need another problem with it.” When I filed the insurance claim, they had to give me about $2,000. As I was taking the money to go and get my car fixed, someone in the church told me that they wanted to bless me and fix my car for free! As a result, that money went straight into my account for Potter's Field. As I was telling Austen all of this, I sarcastically said, “It's like God was saying, 'Jaymi you're dumb! Just watch what I'm going to do with this!'” We then found this verse, which birthed the phrase “You're dumb/Just watch. Isaiah 55:8-9”.

His ways are higher than mine. I had been praying for God to provide for me to come here to Potter's Field, and He answered in a way that was beyond my understanding and radically different from the way I expected. In comparison to His thoughts, I truly know nothing.

God will work in ways that are beyond our expectations, imaginations, and strength, so that we will know that it is truly Him who does it, and not ourselves. As a result, I want to stay close to His heart and abide in Him, so that I may serve my Jesus and bear fruit. I can do nothing on my own. I will continue to take delight in His ways and trust Him when it doesn't make sense. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are His ways higher than my ways and His thoughts than my thoughts.

[[You're dumb/Just watch. Isaiah 55:8-9]]

John 15:5

“I am the vine; you are the branches. He who abides in me and I in him will bear much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing.”

change.

“'For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are my ways your ways,' declares the LORD.”

Isaiah 55:8

Last night at chapel, it was commissioning for all of the teams that are soon departing to the mission field. Each of the interns was asked to answer a question during the service. When it was my turn, I was asked “What was your main reason for coming to Potter's Field Ranch? Do you still believe that this is why the Lord had you come?”

My answer reminded me of this verse. I came here, honestly, just wanting to get on the field. I have a passion for foreign missions, and I really just wanted to go. I was looking forward to the classes and preparation, but really I was just waiting for the first three months to be over so that I could fly to El Salvador and share the love of Christ with the kids and the church there.

I now realize that God brought me here to Montana to draw me to Himself. I am closer to Him, and more broken for His people. I have a deeper servant's heart and a more gentle spirit, as well as so many other things as a result of coming here. God has used these three months to prepare me for a future life of ministry and missions, and fan the flame of passion that was already burning in my heart.

After chapel last night, Pastor Mike Rozell came to me and said, “Jaymi, you got everything out of this that you were supposed to. You didn't miss it. You came wanting to change the world, but God wanted to change your heart.”

His thoughts truly are not my thoughts, neither are His ways my ways. I still want God to use me to leave an impact on the world for His glory, but He has done much more than deepen that desire in me. My heart has been further broken, molded, and changed in the Potter's hands. I am merely clay, who has no understanding of what He is doing, nor of what He will make of me. In the center of the Potter's wheel, in the center of His will, is where I want to be. I will continue to seek my Jesus with my whole heart, and trust Him with my future.

Forever my love, forever my heart, forever my life is Yours, Lord.

Proverbs 19:21

“Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the LORD that will stand.”

September 21, 2011

compassion.

“Let the wicked forsake his way, and the unrighteous man his thoughts; let him return to the LORD, that he may have compassion on him, and to our God, for he will abundantly pardon.” Isaiah 55:7

“If I have not compassion on my fellow-servant, even as my Lord had pity on me,

then I know nothing of Calvary love.”

Amy Carmichael

My God has shown me grace and compassion in abundance. “For while we were still weak, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly... God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” (Romans 5:6,8)

Well, this was the start of my Inductive Bible Study entry for today. I was going to write about how we should have a heart of compassion, modeled after Christ's. But, as I was writing this, God gave me an opportunity to live it out.

After I sat down to write this blog, another intern came up and sat beside me. I set aside my laptop and we started talking. I was able to pray with her and encourage her in some things she was going through. Ironically, the conversation ended with us talking about compassion. She said that there was nothing that she loved more than sitting with someone and listening, crying with them and then laughing with them as they grew together. I told her that it was definitely a gift from the Lord, because compassion is defined when we “rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep.” (Romans 12:15). When we were done talking, class started, and she apologized and said “Oh, I'm sorry I kept you from writing.” I quickly told her, “This right here is way more important.”

There was nothing I would have rather done this morning than be with my sister in the Lord to listen, encourage, and pray with her. God has placed her so near to my heart and it was an honor to be able to show His compassion to her.

This is a little sliver of Calvary love. However, when I put my own interests above the interests of others, then I have forgotten the precious price that my Savior paid for me on the cross. He is my all in all, far worthy of all that I am. He has shown my heart great compassion, and my sin He has abundantly pardoned. Therefore, I will continue to look for opportunities to develop a deeper heart of compassion. Jesus, make me more like you.

Ephesians 5:1-2

“Therefore, be imitators of God, as beloved children. And walk in love, just as Christ loved us and gave Himself up for us, as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.”

rocket science.

“Seek the LORD while he may be found; call upon him while he is near.”
Isaiah 55:6

I went to summer and winter camps with my church all throughout junior high and high school. After an amazing week with the Lord, my youth pastor, John Hoffman, would speak to all of the students during breakfast on the last day. It became known as the famous “Rocket Science” speech. He would say that we feel close to the Lord now, but it's not the mountain air, something in the water, or the high elevation that caused that. It was simply that we removed all distractions and sought the Lord. Draw near to God, and He will draw near to you. It's not rocket science.

Here at Potter's Field Ranch, Jesus is so near... and it's not rocket science. I'm also surrounded by beauty, with misty fog over the lake in the morning and bright stars at night. I'm away from all the distractions of school and work, and I'm deliberately here to seek the Lord. He is close and may be found. There are constantly moments in which I feel like my heart is going to burst because I'm so deeply and madly in love with Him. It's hard to explain, but there is truly nothing more precious than when all of my delight is in the Lord.

Oh how I long for these moments. My soul is constantly in thirst for the sweet and intimate fellowship that comes from being alone with my Jesus. However, I know that this will be a struggle to find after I leave Montana. It is in these times that I will need to continue to diligently seek Him, and fight for time alone with Him.

I realize that this is a very precious season of my life, and I may never have it again. Therefore, I will continue to seek the LORD while he may be found in the beauty of this place. I will call upon him while he is near, and so evident in everything that I see. And when it becomes a greater battle, I will fight all the more.

Psalm 42:1-2

“As the deer pants for the water brooks, so my soul longs for you, O God.

My soul thirsts for God, for the the living God. When shall I come and appear before my God?”

Psalm 63:1-4

“O God, you are my God, earnestly I seek you; my soul thirsts for you; my flesh faints for you, as in a dry and weary land where there is no water. So I have looked upon you in your sanctuary, beholding your power and your glory. Because your steadfast love is better than life, my lips shall praise you. So I will bless you as long as I live; In your name I will lift up my hands.”

September 19, 2011

called.

“So you also, when you have done all that you were commanded, say, 'We are unworthy servants, we have only done what was our duty.'” Luke 17:10

            A good father would lay down his life for his children. A loving husband would die for his wife. But would a master lay down his life for a slave? Or a king for his servant?

            I am an unworthy servant of the Most High God. He is my master, and I am his bond-slave. Who am I, then, that He would lay down His own life for me?

            “For you did not receive the spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you have received the Spirit of adoption as sons, by whom we cry, 'Abba! Father!'” (Romans 8:15) I am not only His servant, but He has made me His daughter. Yet, even before I was adopted by Him, Christ died so that I may one day receive that Spirit of adoption. God made me, an unworthy servant, a fellow heir with His Son.

            “'And in that day,' declares the LORD, 'you will call me 'My Husband,' and no longer will you call me, 'My Master.'” (Hosea 2:16) I am in the body of Christ and, therefore, His bride. “...Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her.” (Ephesians 5:25). My Jesus gave up own his life for me, just as a husband might give up his life for his wife.

            Amazing love, how can it be, that you my King should die for me? I am simply an unworthy servant. What an amazing scandal of grace!

            Amazing love, how I know it's true, and it's my joy to honor You in all I do. When I remember this, that I am but an unworthy servant, yet was made a daughter and a bride and deemed worthy of His own precious blood, there is nothing that I would rather do with my life than serve Him.

            We often have defining moments in our lives, and last night was one of mine. As Pastor John Randall was speaking, I realized that there is nothing in this world that I would be content doing other than full-time ministry. The possibilities of careers and everything else ran through my mind, but none of them would sit right with me. They were all filled with discontentment. What I had previously doubted I then knew with all assurance. I wrote in the front of my Bible,

“I know that I know that I am called to full-time ministry. September 15, 2011.”

            I'm truly excited for my life. Every day is an adventure with my Jesus, and I have no idea where He is going to take me next. In the midst of uncertainty, His perfect love casts out all fear for the future. For I know that the same God who made me daughter and bride will take this heart of an unworthy servant and use it in ways that I can't even imagine. I will continue to trust him with my life, because He alone is worthy.

Jeremiah 1:4-8

“Now the word of the Lord came to me, saying, 'Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, and before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you a prophet to the nations.' Then I said, 'Ah, Lord GOD! Behold, I do not know how to speak, for I am only a youth.' But the Lord said to me, 'Do not say, 'I am only a youth'; for to all to whom I send you, you shall go, and whatever I command you, you shall speak. Do not be afraid of them, for I am with you to deliver you,' declares the LORD.”

September 16, 2011

glory.

“Does he thank the servant because he did what was commanded?” Luke 17:9

If a master commanded his slave to do something and they did it, he probably would not praise him, because the slave had simply done what was commanded. The slave also would not expect to be thanked by his master, for he was only doing what he was told to do.

As Christians, we consider ourselves bond-servants and slaves of Jesus Christ. Why, then, do we so often expect thanks for what we do? When we are faithful in ministry, we expect someone to notice and reward us. When we go out of our way to help another person, we too often expect to be praised. When we aren't thanked while serving someone, we become indignant and our joy leaves us.

This should not be.

“For if I preach the gospel, I have nothing to boast of, for I am under compulsion; for woe to me if I do not preach the gospel.” (1 Corinthians 9:16) Paul wrote this to the Corinthians, because he understood that nothing he does for the Kingdom is of himself. He had no grounds for boasting when he would preach the gospel, for he was under compulsion. There was nothing good or righteous in him that would have led him to do that; the love of Christ simply constrained him.

Similarly, there is nothing in ourselves that would lead us to do anything of worth for the name of the Lord Jesus.

It is not that I have a “good heart” or a strong will to help others, but the fact is that God has reached in and taken my messed up, sinful heart and washed it white with His blood. I am made righteous only by His grace. His love has compelled me. I am constrained by it. I couldn't have done that by myself.

Therefore, when I am praised in ministry, I need to stay in humility and give all the glory to God. When I am not thanked, noticed, or recognized, I need to remember that I am simply doing what I have been commanded, and I have no grounds for boasting, for I am under compulsion.

“I want to take Your Word and shine it all around

But first help me just to live it, Lord.

And when I'm doing well help me to never seek a crown

for my reward is bringing glory to You.”

Romans 6:17-18

“But thanks be to God, that though you were slaves of sin, you became obedient from the heart to that form of teaching to which you were committed, and having been freed from sin, you became slaves of righteousness.”

September 15, 2011

the least of these.

“Will he not rather say to him, 'Prepare supper for me, and dress properly, and serve me while I eat and drink?'” Luke 17:8

            This passage (Luke 17:7-10) speaks of the relationship between a servant and his master. When I came to this verse, I began to think about what it would look like for me, a bond-servant of the Most High God, to prepare supper for my King. I then thought about the parable in Matthew 25, when the Son of Man was separating the sheep and the goats. They questioned when they had seen the Lord in a position of need and had served Him. Jesus then replied, “Truly I say to you, as you did it to one of the least of these brothers of Mine, you did it to me.” (verse 40).
Win souls. Feed the hungry. Make disciples.

            This is the mission of Potter's Field Ministries. This is why I am here in Montana, at Potter's Field Ranch. This is why I am being sent to El Salvador in October, and I will be living there for six months. There, are precious little hearts that are hopeless, waiting for a Savior. There are tears on soft faces, waiting for a reason to have joy. There are hungry children, waiting for food that will last.

            My heart is to do all things for the glory of my Savior. When I serve the “least of these”, I am truly preparing supper for my King. When I meet those kids in El Salvador and show them love, I am truly loving Christ. For He Himself has said, “Whoever recieves one such child in my name recieves me.” (Matthew 18:5)

            However, I know that this will not be easy. I have an active enemy, who is seeking to destroy all that God is doing in and through my life. The Bible describes him as a “prowling lion, seeking someone to devour.” I will suffer. I will be persecuted. I will be attacked. Because of this, I need to put on the full armor of God, each and every day, so that I may stand firm against the devil. I know that my struggle is not against flesh and blood.

            I need to be strong in the Lord and in the strength of His might. For when I am hungry and simply want to come in to eat, will I still prepare supper for my Jesus and serve Him while He eats? Will I put the needs of those that I serve above my own, as though I am serving Christ Himself? Yes, Lord, give me strength to do so. When it gets tough, help me to count it all joy that I may share in Your sufferings, that I may grow to know You so intimately in that sweet fellowship. I'd rather be in the fire with You, than outside of it without You; for You are far worthy of my service, my worship, my heart, and all of my life.

Matthew 10:42

“And whoever gives one of these little ones a cup of cold water because he is a disciple, truly, I say to you, he will by no means lose his reward.”

           

 [until the whole world hears.]

September 14, 2011

selah.

“And the Lord said, 'If you had faith like a grain of a mustard seed, you could say to this mulberry tree, 'Be uprooted and planted in the sea' and it would obey you.'” Luke 17:6

In 1 Chronicles 14, the Philistines came up and made a raid against David and his army. After he was led to defeat them, David said, “God has broken through my enemies by my hand, like a bursting flood.” Therefore, he named the place Baal-perazim, which means “Lord of breaking through.” Soon after, the Philistines raided again, but this time, God did not command David to go up against them. Instead, He told him, “When you hear the sound of marching in the tops of the mulberry trees, then go out to battle, for God has gone out before you to strike down the army of the Philistines.” and He did just that.

In the Bible, mulberry trees hold great meaning. They are derived from the Hebrew word Baca, which means “weeping.” In my life, they remind me of my childhood. When I was little, there was a huge mulberry tree in my backyard. I met Jesus when I was six-years-old, and it was hard because no one else in my family knew Him. There was constantly tension in my house, as a result of drugs, violence, and abuse. I was told I was being brainwashed by the church. When all of these things happened and I just needed to get away or cry, I would go in my backyard, and sit under the mulberry tree. There, it was just me and my Jesus.

Psalm 84:5-6 says, “Blessed are those whose strength is in you, whose heart is set on pilgrimage. As they go through the Valley of Baca they make it a place of springs; the early rain also covers it with pools.” When we put our trust in Him, God promises to take our weeping and turns it into springs of joy.

Trials test faith, and refine it as gold in the fire. The LORD defeated the Philistines the first time, to increase the faith of David for the second battle. He also used the times of weeping in my childhood to increase and develop my faith for for future warfare.. As a result, my mulberry tree has been uprooted and cast into springs of joy, for my God has broken through like a flood.

Soon I will be going to El Salvador, where I will be serving and showing the love of Christ for the advancement of His Kingdom. I know that trials and hardship will come. In these times, I will remember how God has moved in the past. I will listen for the sound of marching in the tops of the mulberry trees and go out to battle, confident that my God has gone before me. For I know that faith has uprooted my mulberry tree of weeping and planted it into a sea of joy, and it can accomplish even greater things in the future.

Acts 20:22, 24

“And now, behold, I am going... constrained by the Spirit, not knowing what will happen to me there... But none of these things move me; I do not account my life of any value nor as precious to myself, if only I may finish my course and ministry that I received from the Lord Jesus, to testify to the gospel of the grace of God.”

smile.

“And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you have been sealed for the day of redemption.” Ephesians 4:30

Last night, the interns and some of the staff from Potter's Field Ranch went to Skull Church. It is an outreach put on once a month in Kalispell, Montana. Lights, graphics, and a concert draw in hearts to hear the salvation message. As we walked in, there was a man sitting by himself in the row in front of me. I immediately felt the Holy Spirit prompting me to pray for him. I didn't know whether he knew Jesus or not, but the call to prayer was still there. So, I prayed for him throughout the service.

At the end of the message, he walked forward and accepted Christ. I started crying, rejoicing that God had heard my prayers and the man was saved. I then prayed that God would somehow provide an opportunity for me to talk to him. Then, right as we were about to leave, I saw him outside of the building getting prayer. As I figured out that it was him, he started to walk back into the crowd. I quickly told someone in my group that I’d be right back, and I ran after him. When I caught up to him, I was out of breath, and he looked confused as I tried to talk to him. I introduced myself, and found out that his name was Colin. I then told him that I had been led by the Holy Spirit to pray for him and I was able to encourage him in the Lord. He was on the brink of tears as I told him all of this, overwhelmed by the love of God and obviously a new creation. There was a new life in his eyes, and I was blessed beyond words to be in that moment.

As I read this verse in Ephesians, I began to think about Colin. What if I had ignored the prompting of the Holy Spirit, and failed to pray for him? I don't know if wouldn't have accepted Christ last night, but I do know that there is power in prayer. God does not need me, for He is all powerful, and His will will be done, no matter what I do. However, He wants to bless me by using me for the advancement of His kingdom. God saved Colin, and He blessed me by allowing me to be a part of it.

I also know that if I would have ignored the call to prayer, I would have grieved the Holy Spirit. God was trying to bless me and use me, and it would have deeply saddened Him if I had pushed away His gentle prompting and didn't pray for Colin.

It is humbling to think about how many times I have done just that. I have failed to pray for someone or do something because I didn't want the conviction, other things seemed more important, or I cared too much about what others thought about me. I am also humbled when I remember that God has amazing grace. He constantly provides opportunities for me to step out in faith and respond to the prompting of His Holy Spirit.

I will continue to pray for these opportunities, and ask my Jesus to use me more and more. I also need to not hesitate when the Holy Spirit is prompting me to do something. I want my life to bring glory to Him, and put a smile on His face.

Ephesians 5:8, 10

“For at one time you were darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Walk as children of the light... and try to discern what is pleasing to the Lord.”

building.

“Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.” Ephesians 4:29

One of the amazing things about living here at Potter's Field Ranch is that I am in constant fellowship. I'm always surrounded by people who love the Lord and have faith that's on fire. However, I've noticed that the biggest thing that works to break fellowship and bring disunity is our words. There have been times that I've heard gossip, spoken harshly to another person, or have been hurt by what someone has said here. These things only cause division.

This is also true in the Church as a whole. Proverbs says that “Life and death are in the power of the tongue” (Proverbs 18:21). Our words have the power to tear town and destroy, or to build up and encourage.

I need to watch over my mouth, and make sure that I do not speak a word that is not uplifting. Furthermore, I will continually ask God to give me His eyes to see those around me, so that I may grasp the opportunities to build up my brothers and sisters in Christ with my words.

James 3:10

“From the same mouth come both blessing and cursing. My brothers, these things ought not to be so.”

beads.

“Let the thief no longer steal, but rather let him labor, doing honest work with his own hands, so that he may have something to share with anyone in need.” Ephesians 4:28

Last night, all the girls here at the Ranch were taught how to make beaded bracelets. The goal was that after we learned how to make them, we could take the skill to the mission field and teach the girls there, so that they can sell the bracelets and support themselves. It wasn't really difficult, but it was tedious and time consuming. Whenever I would get frustrated and want to give up, the words “She works with willing hands” came to mind. I soon realized it was from Proverbs 31, the chapter about a godly woman of excellence (verse 13). I then became extremely motivated to finish my bracelet.

Ten minutes before 11 pm, which is lights out, I finally finished it – or so I thought. I went to put it around my wrist and it was too short. Since I had no time that night to finish it, I became really frustrated and seriously considered giving up completely. As soon as that thought crossed my mind, I thought about El Salvador. I thought about all of the little girls there, and the soon-to-be-women who had no way to make money. If I gave up on this one bracelet, why would I have the motivation to teach anyone else? What if the opportunity came up to teach someone in El Salvador, and I couldn't do it because I never finished my own?

This morning, I woke up at 6am and finished my bracelet. Then, I read this verse in Ephesians. In order to be equipped to teach women in El Salvador a simple way to support themselves, I had to do “honest work with [my] own hands.” My five hours of diligence and work now has the potential to result in someone else's food and clothing.

Thieves steal because it does not require honest work. However, helping those in need will cost us something. Whether it's hours of beading or hours of beating, putting others first is hardly easy or convenient. Jesus was the ultimate example of this, for He paid the ultimate cost to help us when we were in such great need.

If Jesus did this for me, the least I can do is do this for others. At the Ranch, there is a lot of work to be done with our hands. The things we do here contribute to ministry all over the world. Today, we have servant time, in which the girls will be cleaning for two hours. I will do this with great joy, with the cross in mind. I will also continue to look for opportunities for me to show the love of Christ in practical ways, whether that's here at Potter's Field Ranch, in El Salvador, or back home. Wherever I go, I will let my light shine before men, so they may see my good works and glorify my Father who is in Heaven (Matthew 5:16).

1 Corinthians 15:58

“Therefore, my beloved brothers, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that in the Lord your labor is not in vain.”

September 6, 2011

youth.

“Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger.” Ephesians 4:26

We cannot harbor our anger so that it turns into bitterness or leads to sin. However, our anger can drive us to do amazing things.

As I'm sitting here thinking about how this verse applies to me today, I'm honestly not very angry. I love it here at Potter's Field Ranch, and not a lot of things make me mad. However, as I prayed and thought about it more, one thing came to mind.

Back home, I was the youngest in a lot of things. Then, when I got here, I was among the youngest... again. I'm so grateful that God got me when I was young, and that He has saved me from wasting many years of my life. However, a lot of people don't understand that and look down on me because I'm young. I hear things like “Oh, you're only seventeen” or “You can't do that because you're not old enough.” The worst is when I hear, “You're going to have to be an adult now and start taking care of yourself.” It makes me mad because they don't understand that I've been pretty independent from a very young age and I've had to grow up really fast. I've even heard a couple times while I've been here at the Ranch, “Jaymi, you know you're going to have to be an adult when you get to the mission field, right?” They say it on the sole premise of my age. I know they mean well, but I become angry because I know that, and I've had to take care of myself for almost all of my life.

Besides that, God has also brought me here for a reason; and those whom He calls, He equips. Saying that I'm too young to be effective is underestimating the power of God in my life, and that makes me mad.

Throughout history, God has tremendously used the young. Josiah became king when he was eight years old. Mary was very young when an angel met her and told her she was pregnant by the Holy Spirit. David killed Goliath when he was a youth. Jeremiah said, “Lord I do not know how to speak, for I am only a child.” God told him, “Do not say, 'I am only a child', for to whom I send you, you shall go, and whatever I command you, you shall speak.” (Jeremiah 1:6-7). When others lessen the effectiveness of the gospel being shown through my life because of my youth, it makes me angry because that is not the heart of God.

However, I cannot let the sun go down on my anger. Instead of harboring it and letting emotions overtake my actions, I seek the Lord and ask Him for direction. It drives me to set an example to other believers. Therefore, I will continue to turn towards the Lord and not let what others say fuel my anger. God doesn't see my age, He sees my heart.

1 Timothy 4:12

“Let no one look down on you because you are young, but set an example for believers in speech, conduct, love, faith, and purity.”

September 2, 2011

truth in love.

“Therefore, laying aside falsehood, SPEAK TRUTH EACH ONE OF YOU WITH HIS NEIGHBOR, for we are members of one another.” Ephesians 4:25

If you had a twisted ankle, blind eye, swollen finger, or broken arm, wouldn't you do something to fix it? If a part of your body wasn't functioning correctly and it was hindering movement or your health, wouldn't you go to the doctor or do all you could to make it better?

1 Corinthians 12:12-14 says, “For even as the body is one and yet has many members, and all the members of the body, though they are many, are one body, so also is Christ. For by one Spirit we were all baptized into one body, whether Jews or Greeks, whether slave or free, and we were all made to drink of one Spirit. For the body is not one member, but many.” Just as our physical bodies are made up of many parts, so the Church is the body of Christ, and made up of many members.

The passage goes on to say, “And if one member suffers, all the members suffer with it; if one member is honored, all the members rejoice with it. Now you are all Christ's body, and individually members of it.” (1 Corinthians 12:26-27). Just as we would do something about a hurt body part, shouldn't we work to make sure that each member of the body of Christ is doing well? If not, all of the members suffer with it.

This verse in Ephesians commands us to speak truth to our neighbor, for we are all members of one another. As Christians, we are commanded to speak the truth in love, and kindly correct our brothers and sisters who are caught in their trespasses, or simply acting out of accordance with the rest of the body.

During orientation here at Potter's Field, they told us that if we have a problem with another person here, we need to operate how Jesus commanded us to in Matthew 18. We need to kindly confront and lovingly correct them. Recently, I have had a hard time speaking the truth when necessary. I have focused too much on being “loving” and not enough on exhortation and accountability. However, I need to be bold and confront a brother or sister when they are doing something that they shouldn't. We are supposed to be a team here at the Ranch, so if one of us is lagging behind or I notice that another intern is not doing well, I need to step up and speak out, encouraging them to do better and press on. “For if one member suffers, all the members suffer with it; [and] if one member is honored, all the members rejoice with it.”

Hebrews 10:24-25

“and let us consider how to spur one another on to love and good deeds, not forsaking our own assembling together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another; and all the more as you see the day drawing near.”

September 1, 2011